Picture by Megan Mathey, China 2008As this will be my last post, I wanted to be humorous! Hope some can relate...:)
When nature calls, there is no obvious way to escape! During one of our garden expeditions, I was faced with reality...I had to go. After managing to "ask" in Chinese for the nearest restroom ( ce suo, 4th. and 3rd. tone, I think) and graciously tanking the little old Chinese lady, with my best smile (shie shie 4th. & none); I hurried up. As you know by now, having following us along the way; it was really hot and humid, I like to call it tropical. Therefore, the bathroom floors and walls were glistening with a film of water...aka very slippery, and a "mysterious' odor was floating in the thick air.
I was happy to see that there were at least 10 doors in the large room. I opened the first door...a hole!Let's try another one...a hole, one more....another hole! No toilet available here! I guess that was it. I entered the cramped stall, facing the wall in front of me, and I managed to lock the door without incident.Now I needed to face the door, so I could use the hole properly...after a successful 180 degree angle turn, I had achieved my goal. OK, I needed to hang my backpack which I carried throughout our trip with the "essentials" for the day. No hooks. "Great!!!!" I told myself. Anyway I made sure my trusty sunglasses were well positioned on my head; and I proceeded to unbutton my pants, pushing it down my knees. Then came my underwear, which was clinging to my skin because of the humidity, then my sunglasses fell back on my nose...at least they were not on the floor, or in the hole...yet! There, after a while both pants and underpants were on my knees. Now the challenging and perilous squatting to the ground level; I bent slowly making sure my feet were comfortably flat on the 2 "feet slabs" ( take a look at the picture!).Suddenly, a thought came to me, how on earth do I know if I can aim at the hole? I took no chances, I juggled with my sunglasses that kept slipping on my nose, and at the same I was holding with both hands, the legs of my pants tight to my skin...I there I had done it, aiming and staying dry! Now, I had to stand back on my 2 feet without any misstep. After great concentration, I had succeeded. Where is the toilet paper? I looked around the stall...NONE!!! It was going to be way to complicated to get a tissue from my backpack that was miraculously still on my back. So, I put my underwear and pants back up. Now , the last challenge...flushing the "hole" without being flooded over! I pulled the makeshift rope...a loud deep noise like a rumbling was heard... the water came rushing through... I held tight....it was over.
I got out of the stall, beaming with a large smile...having conquered the "Chinese Hole". I was proud as a toddler who had just managed to use the training potty chair! ( except I did not get any gummy bear for my exploit!!!) I then proceeded to the sink area and washed my hands fervently with soap as if all the microbes and bacteria of the world resided here. You need to know that I was still beaming. I was looking at myself in the mirror thinking : where is the paper towel dispenser? None to be seen. As I was rinsing my hands, I peaked one more time in the mirror and I could see ladies shaking their hands to remove the excess of water. I decided to do the same; then I turn around still very proud of myself smiling; little Chinese ladies were looking at me like I was from another planet then I realized that not only I was the only one beaming..I was the only white too!
So, for all the men and boys who always have to wait for us; now you understand that going to the w.c. is a challenging ordeal for us, ladies and girls.
- I hope everyone enjoy their trip to China, I certainly did. Thank you to all of you, and have a great summer!
